Lately, the gossip columns have been filled with articles about the Octo-Mom. Although I don't read those types of magazines, or watch those types of "tattle shows", perhaps on a subconsious level, the messages have seemed into my (so called) higher sense of self. To that end, I questioned myself. What would I do if I had 14 children? I guess the first thing I would do if I gave birth to 14 children, is to ask someone to commit me to an insane asylum.
Yes, it's true, I love children (especially my own) -- however, would I willingly and knowingly give birth to multiple children? Heck no! It's a good thing I don't curse -- I guess I'd have an earful for parents who are ill equipped to rear multiple children.
Why would an unemployed mother with 6 children want more children?
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with large families. Why would any person want to bring more children into an already crowded household? I don't know this for a fact, but I've heard that foster parents can only have 2 children in a room? Why are foster parents held to a higher standard that birthparents?
I know this may sound mean and perhaps even too autocratic for America, but shouldn't there be some type of test for parenting? We can't drive, get married, or even do certain types of work without a license. Why not have a license to give birth? I kind of like that idea... Birth Czar....hmmm - nominate me for that position.
If I were "birth czar", I would not give license to adolescents, or those parents already on some type of public assistance. It's not fair that those of us who work, have a portion of our taxes to care for "professional baby-makers". You know who I'm talking about; people who know that having more babies means more money coming in, care of the hard working, highly taxed, middle class.
Isn't it time that we stood up to people like Octo-Mom? Instead of making them the celebrity du jour, let's do something to encourage these people to become financially self-sufficient. Sure, I've heard of the so called "welfare-to-work" program, but how many people are actual participants, and what are the program qualifications?
According to what I've read about Octo-Mom, she is college educated, and has a trade. Instead of giving her money to stay at home and take care of her children (some of who are disabled), why not mandate that she get a job? Octo-Mom is not disabled (unless her low self esteem is a disability), she should be encouraged to get a job, and labeled personal non gratis on the talk show circuit as well as the gossip circuit. The media, including Oprah, Dr. Phil, et al, should refuse to give her any media attention. Sure, there are some people who get a kick out of the absurdity of it all, (a la the current intrigue with so called reality tv), however, who really cares about Suleman and her antics? It's the children who deserve our concern, not some wanna be celebrity look alike.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Gazelles and Lions
Celebrating another year, reminds me of the African adage about the gazelles and the lions:
"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will die. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you'd better be running." ~unknown
Perhaps that's why my internal clock has been set for 3:30 am since I was a child. No from a point of survival -- but from a point of getting the most out of life and living. We're only granted 24 hours in a day. How much we get done in those 24 hours depends on our productivity, and ingenuity. The facts are what they are -- I'm not the most productive or the smartest person in my life. (I leave the honor of being super smart to my 3 children -- all who take after their late Dad, when it comes to gray matter). But that's another story for another day.
Back to my original point - I get up early to make sure that I get the important or useful things done before the sun sets. My health is vitally important to me -- which is why I spend at least 1 1/2 hours 4 or 5 days a week working on my body. After all, the truth of the matter is that our perfect bodies begin to turn against our perfect selves as we mature. For some, that change takes place much too early -- for others, there is a valiant fight to the end.
A couple of my co-workers does something that is enviable -- but not for me. For 6 days of every week, they eat only non-processed fruits, vegetables, and nuts and drink only water - on the 7th day, they splurge. They also work out 4 days a week. They look fantastic!
Well...that sounds good - especially the working out part -- however, I'm not that committed. My preference is to eat moderately well -- and work out religiously. There's only a few things better than the feeling that I get from working out -- however, I don't want to digress yet again, so I'll stick to my topic.
It doesn't matter if people think they're closer to the gazelle or the lion, the fact is, in order to live a healthy life, we must take care of our bodies. High blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes are top killers and life maimers for many people. We give in to the salt shaker, extra large fries, and cheesecake. While I'm not immune to the dessert tray or potatoes, however, I know my limit. When I take a bite of dessert or order potatoes, (I've never been a salt lover), my mind does a mental calculation of how many miles I need to run for that indulgence. That doesn't stop me from ordering those fattening foods and deserts, however, I eat those types of food in moderation.
Although I don't look up to people as someone to emulate (a la Octo-mom N. Suleman and her ideal of perfection), one of the greatest compliments that I've ever received from a stranger, was the similarity of my legs to Tina Turner. Even though this stranger will never know it, his comments spur me on to finish that last mile when I'm tired and want to give up.
Many times, we face challenges in life. Over the years, I've learned to never give up. Each of us must face difficulties in our lives -- the measure of who we are lies in how we accept those challenges and go on with our life. In the grand scheme of things, it's up to us to make our lives what we want them to be. For me, I choose love, and happiness. I choose not to give up on love; I choose to love myself first -- by loving me, I become lovable to others. Try it -- I guarantee great results.
Until next time.
"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will die. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you'd better be running." ~unknown
Perhaps that's why my internal clock has been set for 3:30 am since I was a child. No from a point of survival -- but from a point of getting the most out of life and living. We're only granted 24 hours in a day. How much we get done in those 24 hours depends on our productivity, and ingenuity. The facts are what they are -- I'm not the most productive or the smartest person in my life. (I leave the honor of being super smart to my 3 children -- all who take after their late Dad, when it comes to gray matter). But that's another story for another day.
Back to my original point - I get up early to make sure that I get the important or useful things done before the sun sets. My health is vitally important to me -- which is why I spend at least 1 1/2 hours 4 or 5 days a week working on my body. After all, the truth of the matter is that our perfect bodies begin to turn against our perfect selves as we mature. For some, that change takes place much too early -- for others, there is a valiant fight to the end.
A couple of my co-workers does something that is enviable -- but not for me. For 6 days of every week, they eat only non-processed fruits, vegetables, and nuts and drink only water - on the 7th day, they splurge. They also work out 4 days a week. They look fantastic!
Well...that sounds good - especially the working out part -- however, I'm not that committed. My preference is to eat moderately well -- and work out religiously. There's only a few things better than the feeling that I get from working out -- however, I don't want to digress yet again, so I'll stick to my topic.
It doesn't matter if people think they're closer to the gazelle or the lion, the fact is, in order to live a healthy life, we must take care of our bodies. High blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes are top killers and life maimers for many people. We give in to the salt shaker, extra large fries, and cheesecake. While I'm not immune to the dessert tray or potatoes, however, I know my limit. When I take a bite of dessert or order potatoes, (I've never been a salt lover), my mind does a mental calculation of how many miles I need to run for that indulgence. That doesn't stop me from ordering those fattening foods and deserts, however, I eat those types of food in moderation.
Although I don't look up to people as someone to emulate (a la Octo-mom N. Suleman and her ideal of perfection), one of the greatest compliments that I've ever received from a stranger, was the similarity of my legs to Tina Turner. Even though this stranger will never know it, his comments spur me on to finish that last mile when I'm tired and want to give up.
Many times, we face challenges in life. Over the years, I've learned to never give up. Each of us must face difficulties in our lives -- the measure of who we are lies in how we accept those challenges and go on with our life. In the grand scheme of things, it's up to us to make our lives what we want them to be. For me, I choose love, and happiness. I choose not to give up on love; I choose to love myself first -- by loving me, I become lovable to others. Try it -- I guarantee great results.
Until next time.
Friday, February 20, 2009
When You Think of Antique, What Do You Think Of?
A few days ago, I was upstairs with my youngest son (20 y.o) and some of his friends, enjoying the remake of "Imitation of Life" (the remake from the 50's).
During one of the commercial breaks, we were joking about something... I think I mispronounced the slang term for marijuana; needless to say, the under 21 crowd thought that was hilarious. Similar to the laugh my friends and I had a few days earlier when my Mother said, "you know the singer Bounce say". After my son and his friends wiped their tears of laughter, my son said, "Mom you're so antique".
I thought about his use of the word "antique". Was this a new 'slangism' (that's my term for slang that I'm not familiar with), that I had yet to hear? My first thought was to challenge him to a jog off (to see who could run the farthest -- not the fastest -- after all, I may be crazy...but you know the rest...), but saner thoughts prevailed; I simply asked him what he meant. I found his answer endearing and flattering. To be called "antique" -- (in this new or is it his own vernacular?), means that you are precious, greatly valued, and one of a kind.
Although I consider myself a person who believes in the good of all people, that the majority of the population don't knowingly hurt each other, and that forgiveness is the greatest gift, we can bestow on each other, I was ready (for a split second) to take offense at the term antique. But then again, is it because when I think of old age, it scares me?
Many years ago, when I was pregnant with my first (of three) sons, the doctor told me that the best way to live a long and healthy life, is to exercise. Since then, I've been following his advice; however, this particular doctor died in the middle of a pap smear of a heart attack. Can you imagine how the woman felt? Speculum in place, when all of a sudden the next thing you feel is the doctor's head between your legs? Even to this day, I still laugh (thank God it wasn't me), at the image.
Like many of us, I should remind myself that every day is a gift. We should live our lives to the fullest, enjoying the great moments, relishing the special times, and (dare I say it), looking for the lessons in the challenges we face.
Most days, I wonder at the beauty of my world, my healthy children, a fantastic Mother who shows no signs of slowing down, a great sister, and many aunts, uncles, cousins, my Toastmaster family, and a plethora of other friends and acquaintances.
Am I afraid of aging? Not being able to run (jog) anymore.... Of living in a convalescent home? Having visitors only sporadically? What about the many horror stories of those confined to their beds, being tied down, beaten, and even sexually abused in those homes... My good Lord, it scares me to even think about the tragedies that can befall us.
Having children is not necessarily insurance against lonliness...as our children grow up and begin lives of their own, there is less time for us. Is it possible to make time? What's the key? That's the million dollar question.
My mother always said that you should have more than 1 child. This way, if something happens to the parent(s), the children can share the burden. I guess in a way that makes sense, however, the relationships between parents and children are always as close as they could be. At this stage in her life, my Mother finds herself driving from one end of the county to another visiting brothers (in 2 separate areas of town), as well as a family friend, and a host of church family members. She's putting more miles on her can visiting relatives and friends, than I do at work.
I'll end like I began, with the word "antique". My Mother is certainly "antique". I'm proud of her, (she was the first winner of the Channel 7 Jefferson Awards). My mother is precious, valuable, and the glue that keeps me sane. Through all of life's trials and tribulations, she has been my rock. I pray that I can be that same type of rock for my children, their wives, and my grandchildren.
During one of the commercial breaks, we were joking about something... I think I mispronounced the slang term for marijuana; needless to say, the under 21 crowd thought that was hilarious. Similar to the laugh my friends and I had a few days earlier when my Mother said, "you know the singer Bounce say". After my son and his friends wiped their tears of laughter, my son said, "Mom you're so antique".
I thought about his use of the word "antique". Was this a new 'slangism' (that's my term for slang that I'm not familiar with), that I had yet to hear? My first thought was to challenge him to a jog off (to see who could run the farthest -- not the fastest -- after all, I may be crazy...but you know the rest...), but saner thoughts prevailed; I simply asked him what he meant. I found his answer endearing and flattering. To be called "antique" -- (in this new or is it his own vernacular?), means that you are precious, greatly valued, and one of a kind.
Although I consider myself a person who believes in the good of all people, that the majority of the population don't knowingly hurt each other, and that forgiveness is the greatest gift, we can bestow on each other, I was ready (for a split second) to take offense at the term antique. But then again, is it because when I think of old age, it scares me?
Many years ago, when I was pregnant with my first (of three) sons, the doctor told me that the best way to live a long and healthy life, is to exercise. Since then, I've been following his advice; however, this particular doctor died in the middle of a pap smear of a heart attack. Can you imagine how the woman felt? Speculum in place, when all of a sudden the next thing you feel is the doctor's head between your legs? Even to this day, I still laugh (thank God it wasn't me), at the image.
Like many of us, I should remind myself that every day is a gift. We should live our lives to the fullest, enjoying the great moments, relishing the special times, and (dare I say it), looking for the lessons in the challenges we face.
Most days, I wonder at the beauty of my world, my healthy children, a fantastic Mother who shows no signs of slowing down, a great sister, and many aunts, uncles, cousins, my Toastmaster family, and a plethora of other friends and acquaintances.
Am I afraid of aging? Not being able to run (jog) anymore.... Of living in a convalescent home? Having visitors only sporadically? What about the many horror stories of those confined to their beds, being tied down, beaten, and even sexually abused in those homes... My good Lord, it scares me to even think about the tragedies that can befall us.
Having children is not necessarily insurance against lonliness...as our children grow up and begin lives of their own, there is less time for us. Is it possible to make time? What's the key? That's the million dollar question.
My mother always said that you should have more than 1 child. This way, if something happens to the parent(s), the children can share the burden. I guess in a way that makes sense, however, the relationships between parents and children are always as close as they could be. At this stage in her life, my Mother finds herself driving from one end of the county to another visiting brothers (in 2 separate areas of town), as well as a family friend, and a host of church family members. She's putting more miles on her can visiting relatives and friends, than I do at work.
I'll end like I began, with the word "antique". My Mother is certainly "antique". I'm proud of her, (she was the first winner of the Channel 7 Jefferson Awards). My mother is precious, valuable, and the glue that keeps me sane. Through all of life's trials and tribulations, she has been my rock. I pray that I can be that same type of rock for my children, their wives, and my grandchildren.
Monday, February 16, 2009
What's Down With the Economy?
I consider myself to be a price conscious person. Lately, I'm wondering what else I can do to save money.
Since I've been shopping (for myself), I've been a coupon clipper (grocery stores and any other store or restaurant that accepts them). On days when I don't brew my own coffee, I bring my thermos to 7-11 for .99 coffee vs going to one of those high priced coffee cafe's.
Usually, I bring a selection of fruit and nuts to work. This usually is enough to satiate my appetite until I get home.
Because I get up early, I'm usually off work early enough to get matinee prices for movies and live productions.
Nordstrom Rack is my favorite shopping haunt. Why pay full price, when I can get last season's gear for 60% (or more) off Nordstrom prices. Back in the day, you could get some decent sales at Macy's...that's no longer true. It seems Macy's "jack s the prices...and bring them down a little, bit by bit".
When I hear about a store closing, (if they sell something that I can use, or that may be a suitable gift), I make it a point to check out their goods. Unless it's something that I really like, I wait until the last possible moment to visit the store remnants to see what kind of deal(s) I can get.
I've noticed that restaurant portions are getting smaller; the same as food in grocery stores. The prices are going up slightly or staying the same, but the packaging or portions are getting smaller. Just last year when I went to a restaurant, I was able to take some of my food home, which was good for another meal, this year, I'm finding that I can almost finish my plate.
I've also found that most of my favorite magazines can be read on-line. Although magazine subscriptions aren't that expensive, all dollars saved, can be spent on shoes (at DSW of course).
A few years ago, I was in Chicago with a colleague. She took me to some great consignment stores. I got a brand new pair of linen shorts for less than $4.00, and a host of other brand new (and yes, I'll admit it) some slightly used clothes for "a song". One of my favorite dresses, as well as one that I get the most compliments for came from the consignment store.
It looks as the economy is going to be in the doldrums for at least another year. Although it's not easy --- especially when unexpected expenses come up, a positive mental attitude and a bit of ingenuity will get us through it.
Since I've been shopping (for myself), I've been a coupon clipper (grocery stores and any other store or restaurant that accepts them). On days when I don't brew my own coffee, I bring my thermos to 7-11 for .99 coffee vs going to one of those high priced coffee cafe's.
Usually, I bring a selection of fruit and nuts to work. This usually is enough to satiate my appetite until I get home.
Because I get up early, I'm usually off work early enough to get matinee prices for movies and live productions.
Nordstrom Rack is my favorite shopping haunt. Why pay full price, when I can get last season's gear for 60% (or more) off Nordstrom prices. Back in the day, you could get some decent sales at Macy's...that's no longer true. It seems Macy's "jack s the prices...and bring them down a little, bit by bit".
When I hear about a store closing, (if they sell something that I can use, or that may be a suitable gift), I make it a point to check out their goods. Unless it's something that I really like, I wait until the last possible moment to visit the store remnants to see what kind of deal(s) I can get.
I've noticed that restaurant portions are getting smaller; the same as food in grocery stores. The prices are going up slightly or staying the same, but the packaging or portions are getting smaller. Just last year when I went to a restaurant, I was able to take some of my food home, which was good for another meal, this year, I'm finding that I can almost finish my plate.
I've also found that most of my favorite magazines can be read on-line. Although magazine subscriptions aren't that expensive, all dollars saved, can be spent on shoes (at DSW of course).
A few years ago, I was in Chicago with a colleague. She took me to some great consignment stores. I got a brand new pair of linen shorts for less than $4.00, and a host of other brand new (and yes, I'll admit it) some slightly used clothes for "a song". One of my favorite dresses, as well as one that I get the most compliments for came from the consignment store.
It looks as the economy is going to be in the doldrums for at least another year. Although it's not easy --- especially when unexpected expenses come up, a positive mental attitude and a bit of ingenuity will get us through it.
OMG Internet Scammers
When I receive mail, I stand over the trash can to throw away junk mail, put the bills in a "to do" file, and place the magazine in my work bag for later reading. Although I subscribe to a plethora of magazines, "Singular" was not among them. It almost got thrown away -- however, I guess the glossy cover gave it a reprieve.
One of the articles that caught my attention was about on-line romance scammers. I guess the reason it was of interest to me, is because recently I helped a friend create his profile. He had no clue about the rules on internet dating sites. Never put down your birthday, or income...I hope the rationale for this makes sense.
Shortly after his profile went on-line, he was innundated with "beautiful" women from all over the world vying for his attention. He was really naive; he thought that the pictures were:
1. recent photos
2. actual pictures of the person he was corresponding with
3. not men posing as women.
These are the rules I gave him:
1. Schedule a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible (this won't give people time to have that emergency liposuction, or sex change operation :-)
2. If they are out of the country, or even out of Southern California (PASS on these potential matches). These are the people who can make a case for you offer them financial assistance. Invariably, they may need cash to: Get to L.A., renew their passport, etc. Once again, I say "Pass"
3. Don't settle. There a thousands of people on various web-sites...if you're looking for a financially stable Christian , of a certain ethnicity, who lives within 30 miles of you, don't begin communicating (and possibly getting the hopes up) with an atheist, who lives in Eastern Asia.
4. Be truthful (but only) to a certain extent. While you want to post recent photos (after all, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"), and write a profile that really gives a sense of who you are, your likes, and dislikes, etc, it may not be wise to give information that allows a stalker or scammer to find you.
5. First dates should always be "easy exit" meetings. I suggest meeting "daylight dates" (you remember them from Jr. High (now called Middle School) one of the many local coffee shops equidistance between the 2 parties. This way, if party A doesn't show up, party B didn't travel too teribbly far.
6. My final rule. Have the attitude that you're going to meet some interesting people -- I wouldn't advise going in with the expectation that you will meet the love of your life...but I promise, you'll have a ball as long as you're open to meeting a cadre of characters.
Actually some of the other articles weren't that bad. I even tore out a couple of pages relating to bargains. Even with the economy in the dumps, there still seems to be a number of people who would rather go to HE** than to clip coupons or shop at one of my favorite stores, the Nordstrom Rack.
Because I subscribe to more than enough magazines, mostly related to business, finance, exercise, purchasing, and holistic health, I wasn't in the market or the mood for (yet another entrance into the "do I really want to know this?") another frivolous magazine (a la "O", Jet, Vogue, Redbook--- you fill in the rest...
Although I'm not going to subscribe to this magazine, from time to time, I may log onto their web-site, www.singularcity.com, and read articles of interest. I really like living in this age of technology...as we can get information on interest on-line without the hassles of what to do with magazines and books. As often as I can, I try to review information on the internet.
One of the articles that caught my attention was about on-line romance scammers. I guess the reason it was of interest to me, is because recently I helped a friend create his profile. He had no clue about the rules on internet dating sites. Never put down your birthday, or income...I hope the rationale for this makes sense.
Shortly after his profile went on-line, he was innundated with "beautiful" women from all over the world vying for his attention. He was really naive; he thought that the pictures were:
1. recent photos
2. actual pictures of the person he was corresponding with
3. not men posing as women.
These are the rules I gave him:
1. Schedule a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible (this won't give people time to have that emergency liposuction, or sex change operation :-)
2. If they are out of the country, or even out of Southern California (PASS on these potential matches). These are the people who can make a case for you offer them financial assistance. Invariably, they may need cash to: Get to L.A., renew their passport, etc. Once again, I say "Pass"
3. Don't settle. There a thousands of people on various web-sites...if you're looking for a financially stable Christian , of a certain ethnicity, who lives within 30 miles of you, don't begin communicating (and possibly getting the hopes up) with an atheist, who lives in Eastern Asia.
4. Be truthful (but only) to a certain extent. While you want to post recent photos (after all, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"), and write a profile that really gives a sense of who you are, your likes, and dislikes, etc, it may not be wise to give information that allows a stalker or scammer to find you.
5. First dates should always be "easy exit" meetings. I suggest meeting "daylight dates" (you remember them from Jr. High (now called Middle School) one of the many local coffee shops equidistance between the 2 parties. This way, if party A doesn't show up, party B didn't travel too teribbly far.
6. My final rule. Have the attitude that you're going to meet some interesting people -- I wouldn't advise going in with the expectation that you will meet the love of your life...but I promise, you'll have a ball as long as you're open to meeting a cadre of characters.
Actually some of the other articles weren't that bad. I even tore out a couple of pages relating to bargains. Even with the economy in the dumps, there still seems to be a number of people who would rather go to HE** than to clip coupons or shop at one of my favorite stores, the Nordstrom Rack.
Because I subscribe to more than enough magazines, mostly related to business, finance, exercise, purchasing, and holistic health, I wasn't in the market or the mood for (yet another entrance into the "do I really want to know this?") another frivolous magazine (a la "O", Jet, Vogue, Redbook--- you fill in the rest...
Although I'm not going to subscribe to this magazine, from time to time, I may log onto their web-site, www.singularcity.com, and read articles of interest. I really like living in this age of technology...as we can get information on interest on-line without the hassles of what to do with magazines and books. As often as I can, I try to review information on the internet.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
What is there to remember on Memorial Day?
I'm one of a special club of (what I would consider) young widows. People who's spouse has died -- leaving them without a lifetime partner just after reaching the (still young) age of 30.
Imagine, marrying at 19 -- looking forward to "grow old in love with me, the best is yet to be" -- which is what I had engraved in my late husband's wedding ring.
How could it possibly be -- that I was left alone with three young boys to rear into young men. Sure, there are a lot of single parents who rear their children alone...but many chose that option. When I hear of single people making the decision to have babies without benefit of marriage --- it saddens me. If the parent to be is a teenager, or VERY MATURE, I feel bad for the child. In the case of teen parents -- many times, it's the new grandparents who are forced to change their life to care for their teen's child.
Grandparents these days are much different than those I remember. When I look back at my relationship with my grandparents...they were the "typical" (I guess Leave it to Beaver type) grandparents. Older (looking) people who wore conservative shoes, drank coffee, and were a bit fragile.
These days, the new breed of grandparents can be found at the club hanging out with people of all ages. Maybe my grandparents were 40 when I was born...but for some reason, I always thought they looked 65. If my memory serves me correctly, my grandparents were either retired or close to it when I was in elementary school.
Oooops -- once again, I digress. I began thinking of those to remember on Memorial Day...Today, I began to catch up on my much neglected magazine stack. One of the magazines had an article about death and "Deathday", which is a day to remember those who have predeceased us. That article reminded me of my late husband. Although I think of him regularly (his picture is on my desk at work), the only times I really conjur up memories are his birthday, our anniverary, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and the day he passed (as it was a few days before Easter).
I also think of him quite a bit when my children pass a milestone, High School and College Graduation, wedding ceremony, etc.
It's never easy to raise a child alone --- I would never choose to take that journey.
On another note, I would never, never, never, choose to have a child late in life. Children require physical and mental stamina. There is no way, I would elect to give birth in my 40's or beyond. Sure, I know that we (supposedly) are living longer lives...I guess if you have great physical stamina, you'll be able to deal with running behind a toddler, acting as a taxi service for adolescents, and dealing with the lives (and sometimes lies) of newly licensed drivers.
In a perfect world, parents would never know heartache from children...but our progeny can sometimes break our hearts or disappoint us in words that life partners and lovers never have access to.
What is there to remember on Memorial Day? Well... I guess the answer is - remember everything. Life is filled with peaks and valleys, ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad, heartache, heartbreak, and love.
A good friend of mine told me some years ago, either you're going through something, just finished going through something, or something is on the horizon...
So remember -- don't choose to forget, because we learn from our life (if we're smart).
Imagine, marrying at 19 -- looking forward to "grow old in love with me, the best is yet to be" -- which is what I had engraved in my late husband's wedding ring.
How could it possibly be -- that I was left alone with three young boys to rear into young men. Sure, there are a lot of single parents who rear their children alone...but many chose that option. When I hear of single people making the decision to have babies without benefit of marriage --- it saddens me. If the parent to be is a teenager, or VERY MATURE, I feel bad for the child. In the case of teen parents -- many times, it's the new grandparents who are forced to change their life to care for their teen's child.
Grandparents these days are much different than those I remember. When I look back at my relationship with my grandparents...they were the "typical" (I guess Leave it to Beaver type) grandparents. Older (looking) people who wore conservative shoes, drank coffee, and were a bit fragile.
These days, the new breed of grandparents can be found at the club hanging out with people of all ages. Maybe my grandparents were 40 when I was born...but for some reason, I always thought they looked 65. If my memory serves me correctly, my grandparents were either retired or close to it when I was in elementary school.
Oooops -- once again, I digress. I began thinking of those to remember on Memorial Day...Today, I began to catch up on my much neglected magazine stack. One of the magazines had an article about death and "Deathday", which is a day to remember those who have predeceased us. That article reminded me of my late husband. Although I think of him regularly (his picture is on my desk at work), the only times I really conjur up memories are his birthday, our anniverary, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and the day he passed (as it was a few days before Easter).
I also think of him quite a bit when my children pass a milestone, High School and College Graduation, wedding ceremony, etc.
It's never easy to raise a child alone --- I would never choose to take that journey.
On another note, I would never, never, never, choose to have a child late in life. Children require physical and mental stamina. There is no way, I would elect to give birth in my 40's or beyond. Sure, I know that we (supposedly) are living longer lives...I guess if you have great physical stamina, you'll be able to deal with running behind a toddler, acting as a taxi service for adolescents, and dealing with the lives (and sometimes lies) of newly licensed drivers.
In a perfect world, parents would never know heartache from children...but our progeny can sometimes break our hearts or disappoint us in words that life partners and lovers never have access to.
What is there to remember on Memorial Day? Well... I guess the answer is - remember everything. Life is filled with peaks and valleys, ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad, heartache, heartbreak, and love.
A good friend of mine told me some years ago, either you're going through something, just finished going through something, or something is on the horizon...
So remember -- don't choose to forget, because we learn from our life (if we're smart).
Saturday, May 24, 2008
I Remember When
A few years ago, I was hypnotized and experienced "past life regression". Why is it that past lives are not history markers in our conscious mind? Why is it that we only catch glimpses of our past live(s) when we experience de ja vu?
The truth is --- I really want to remember my past. Not just the past from last week or last year, or even in my childhood. Perhaps if I could remember that I was a great contralto, the fastest distance runner in my age category, or a brilliant scientist, perhaps today, I wouldn't have no sense of rhythm, 2 left feet, and a real problem with math (unless of course you put a $ in front of the number).
The truth is --- I really want to remember my past. Not just the past from last week or last year, or even in my childhood. Perhaps if I could remember that I was a great contralto, the fastest distance runner in my age category, or a brilliant scientist, perhaps today, I wouldn't have no sense of rhythm, 2 left feet, and a real problem with math (unless of course you put a $ in front of the number).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
